Managing money can be a delicate subject for any couple, yet it can become a matter of life and death when control is involved. According to the charity Surviving Economic Abuse (SEA), one in six women across the country has dealt with this behaviour from a partner. This form of harm is present in 95% of domestic abuse cases, often leaving victims feeling entirely trapped. Experts warn that the impact stretches far beyond bank accounts to include basic needs like food and shelter, writes Ella Walker.
Awareness is growing as more people recognise how financial manipulation is used to prevent victims from escaping dangerous situations. "Economic abuse is when a partner or ex-partner controls your money, but also your economic resources, so that can be your housing, whether you can access transport, a mobile phone, all the way down to basic essentials like food and clothing", explains Sara D'Arcy, head of external affairs at SEA.
The Ongoing Struggle
Because this behaviour is now a criminal offence under coercive control laws, perpetrators can face prosecution. "Abusers are using this tactic every day of the year. It is all about taking control and creating financial instability that eventually makes you feel trapped and like you can't take steps to leave," says D'Arcy.
The charity notes that certain periods see a rise in specific tactics. "Abusers use child maintenance to control and cause harm at particular times of year, because they know it is going to have an emotional and financial impact. It's going to mean the survivor can't take the kids to the seaside for half-term, or they're not going to be able to afford to buy a birthday cake," says D'Arcy.
The current rise in living costs is also being used to restrict a partner's freedom. Women's Aid discovered 75% of survivors living with an abuser said it had stopped them from leaving or made it more difficult to do so. Housing security is another major concern, with one in eight women on a joint mortgage facing similar issues. "This can include the abuser refusing to pay their agreed share of the mortgage, refusing to consent to a better interest rate, and also preventing them from accessing mortgage support. We want the Government to deliver a change in the law to help survivors separate a joint mortgage from an abuser," says D'Arcy.
Long-term Impact
The effects of this manipulation are deeply rooted and make finding safety incredibly difficult, explains D'Arcy. "Economic abuse makes it harder for survivors to flee to safety because they might have lost their home, be destitute, not be able to afford new locks, or a train to safety or a new roof over their head, and that creates a really unsafe situation. We also know that financial loss causes the perpetrator to escalate other forms of violence." This control often persists long after a relationship has ended because physical proximity is not required: "Unlike other forms of domestic abuse, it doesn't necessitate being physically close to someone."
Warning Signs
D'Arcy outlines that spotting the early red flags in your own life is the first step toward safety. In your own relationship: "Especially at the start of a relationship, abusers will use emotional abuse and manipulation to start to take control. Eg 'I'll take care of all the bills and look after the joint accounts, you don't have to worry about money'." "An abuser might try to force the survivor to take out a loan or say things like, 'if you really loved me, you'd lend me this money'." "[They] may discourage you from going for a promotion because they want you to spend time with them." "It could be saying, 'I don't like it when you wear that type of clothing, you should wear this type of clothing instead'." "They may refuse to contribute to shared household bills." "It's about exploiting your economic resources too, so you're having to buy new things because they're smashing your phone all the time, for instance." "You notice changes to your behaviour. You're scared to say no to your partner, you can't have open conversations about money, you start to feel anxious about doing things you normally would have done, and find yourself being isolated." "Later down the line, you may realise you don't have access to the bank account your wages are paid into. Bills are turning up at the door, and while you thought your partner was taking care of it all, you're suddenly in lots of debt."
Getting Help
If you are worried about someone else, offering a supportive, non-judgmental ear is vital. "It's really important not to judge. Express concern, ask them open questions and allow them to share what they feel comfortable with," says D'Arcy. "Let them know you are there, whatever it is they're going through, they're not alone, and really be there to support them when they're ready to reach out for help. It's about creating space and for them to take action in their own time. They'll be thinking, 'What is safe for me right now?' and be having to manage their safety."
For those in immediate trouble, emergency services are always the priority. "If you're in immediate danger, always call 999. If you are looking to flee an abusive partner, and you need some help creating a safety plan, the first port of call is the National Domestic Abuse helpline (0808 2000 247), a freephone 24/7 helpline run by Refuge," says D'Arcy. Further guidance can be found at survivingeconomicabuse.org. The charity partners with Money Advice Plus, who "provide support around rebuilding your financial independence and getting specialist help if you've been coerced into debt by your abuser". Many high street lenders also provide specific assistance for those attempting to leave. "TSB offers a flee fund of up to £500 to new and existing customers taking steps to flee", says D'Arcy.
Domestic Abuse Support
- Women's Aid run a Live Chat service between 8am and 6pm weekdays and 10am to 6pm on weekends, along with other online services and the UK Domestic Abuse Directory for your local domestic abuse service at www.womensaid.org.uk
- The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247 (run by Refuge)
- The Men's Advice Line, for male domestic abuse survivors is 0808 801 0327 (run by Respect)
- The National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0800 999 5428 (run by Galop)
- If you are in immediate danger, always call 999
