The Bean Soup Theory: How to Farm Aura and Game the Algorithm
Bean Soup Theory: Gaming the Algorithm for Engagement

In a desperate attempt to improve my aura, I have decided to try farming. It sounds ridiculous, but it is a thing. What began as a side quest during a morning meeting—'how about writing about the bean soup theory?' 'The what theory?' I asked—led me to discover how far from today I actually live. If you reside on the same digital street as me, the mainly analogue one, then welcome to an Unc's guide to 'The Bean Soup Theory.' According to AI (not my words), it is one of 'those rare internet phenomena that manages to be both a hilarious piece of social commentary and a deeply insightful look at how we communicate online.'

How It All Started

Once upon a time, a content creator decided to share her take on bean soup—a perfectly harmless piece of content, you would think. But no. What happened next was a textbook example of what occurs when people believe every piece of content they consume should relate to them. The comments flooded in: 'What if I do not like beans?' 'Can I make this with chicken instead of beans?' 'What if I do not have a stove?' The thread exploded to such an extent that the original poster pulled the plug and adopted a new online persona. Their carefully farmed aura and resulting side hustle had become a place of ridicule, although I am sure the mighty algorithm in the sky saw clicks and served the soup-related nonsense to a wider audience, swelling the poster's bank account.

Digital Absurdity Everywhere

It turns out that once you start looking, examples of this digital absurdity are everywhere, and much of it is deliberate. Many creators now use 'bean soup' logic as an engagement tool. Being helpful is wonderful, and if you pick the right topic, you will get positive feedback in the comments and a few likes. However, by being just slightly, annoyingly wrong, your comments section could explode like a 2am rant on Truth Social, and before you know it, you have platform bleed. Here is how they 'game' the system:

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Engagement Baiting

A creator will post a 'life hack' video where they do 90% of the task perfectly but do one thing incredibly stupidly—like using a screwdriver to open a can of soda or mispronouncing a common word like 'espresso' as 'expresso.' The result: 10,000 people rush to the comments to 'correct' them. The algorithm sees 10,000 comments and thinks, 'Wow, this is a very important and controversial video. Let us show it to a million more people.'

Intentional Omission

This is the 'Bean Soup' trap. A creator will post: 'The three best cities to visit in Europe: London, Paris, Rome.' They know they left out Prague, Barcelona, and Berlin. They want the residents of those cities to 'crash out' in the comments. The logic: angry 'What about us?!' comments count just as much as 'I love London!' comments.

Rage-Baking

Have you seen those videos where someone pours five bags of sweets and a gallon of milk into a toilet or a giant sink? The goal is to make you say, 'Why would you waste that?! This is disgusting!' The reality: they do not care if you are disgusted. They care that you watched the whole video (retention) and commented (engagement).

The Irony of This Article

I appreciate the irony of this article, as I, like many others who have walked the written road before me, crave attention. My aura farm is tilled and sown—now I wait. For those who arrived via curiosity or algorithm, expecting to find a bean soup recipe—here you go. And if you want to switch out the beans for chicken, crack on, it is your soup. If you have a bean soup recipe, feel free to share in the comments section.

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Bean Soup Recipe

Ingredients

  • 1 onion
  • 2-3 garlic cloves
  • 2 medium carrots or 1 medium carrot and 1 medium sweet potato
  • 1 red pepper
  • ½ vegetable stock cube
  • 1 x 400g/14oz can red kidney beans
  • 1 tsp vegetable oil
  • 1 tsp chilli powder
  • 1 tsp ground cumin (optional)
  • 1 tsp dried oregano (optional)
  • 1 x 400g/14oz can chopped tomatoes
  • Ground black pepper (optional)

Method

  1. Peel the onion and chop into small pieces. Peel and press or finely chop the garlic.
  2. Peel, top, and tail the carrots (and sweet potato if using) and chop into 1cm/½in chunks.
  3. Wash the pepper, deseed, and slice into 1cm/½in pieces.
  4. Place the onion, garlic, carrots (and sweet potato) in a microwavable bowl and mix well. Microwave on full power for three minutes.
  5. Measure 300ml/10fl oz of boiling water into a jug, crumble in the stock cube, and stir to dissolve. Drain and rinse the kidney beans.
  6. Add the red pepper, oil, and chilli powder to the bowl. Add cumin and oregano if using. Stir and microwave on full power for one minute.
  7. Stir in the chopped tomatoes, stock, and black pepper to taste. Microwave on full power for 15 minutes, stirring every five minutes.
  8. Remove the soup from the microwave. Taste (careful—it will be very hot) and add more black pepper if desired.
  9. If you prefer smooth soup, blend it at this stage. Ladle a third into a jug blender, hold a tea towel over the lid, blend, and pour into a clean bowl. Repeat with the rest.
  10. Add the kidney beans to the soup and microwave on full power for three minutes, stirring after two minutes.
  11. Remove and allow to stand for one minute before serving.