For most, a wedding day is a celebration of love. For Rubie Marie, aged just 15, it marked the beginning of a living nightmare of coercion, rape, and a desperate fight for survival.
A childhood shattered by betrayal
Raised in a large, religious family of seven siblings in Wales, Rubie's early life by the seaside felt normal, if sheltered. Strict rules forbade relationships with boys and 'revealing' clothing. This changed when she and her elder sister secretly found boyfriends as teenagers. After her sister left home, rejecting the family's strict lifestyle, Rubie sensed a shift in attitude among the male relatives. Unbeknownst to her, they were planning her future.
Under the guise of a family holiday to her parents' homeland of Bangladesh, a marriage was arranged. Rubie was just 15 years old when her mother pointed out a stranger, telling her he was to be her husband. "I assumed he was a similar age to me," Rubie recalled. It was only upon seeing the marriage certificate after turning 16 the following January that she discovered her new husband was in his thirties.
Years of abuse and a desperate escape
Feeling disconnected from reality, Rubie was thrust into a forced marriage where her body was not her own. The rape began just days after the ceremony and was continuous. Within weeks, she fell pregnant at age 16. Her family brought her back to Wales at nine weeks pregnant, leaving her husband behind.
Overwhelmed and helpless, Rubie attempted suicide via an overdose. It was hearing her baby's heartbeat during her first scan the next day that gave her a reason to live. After her daughter's premature birth in October, arrangements were made for her husband to come to the UK. Rubie tried to flee but was tracked down by relatives and forced back.
Her escape finally came in 2000. After a prolonged absence from school, she spotted a friend walking past. She dashed out, begged for help, and explained her situation. The friend's parents helped her contact the police. Due to a lack of awareness about honour-based abuse, officers did not arrive until the following morning. They escorted her from the house, and she left for the Midlands with her daughter and a single bag of clothes.
Rebuilding a life and helping others
Freedom, however, did not immediately bring peace. Traumatised and "used to being mistreated," Rubie found herself in another abusive relationship, having a second child in 2002. It took five more years to break free completely, securing a restraining order.
Now 42, Rubie has reclaimed her life. She fulfilled her childhood dream of travelling the world and now dedicates herself to advocacy. She works as an ambassador for the Sundial Centre, tirelessly raising awareness about forced marriage and honour-based abuse.
"I need other survivors to realise that there is hope and help out there, you just have to reach out for it," Rubie stated. Her powerful story stands as a stark warning and a beacon of resilience for others trapped in similar situations.
