From Heartbreak to Hope: A Mother's NICU Journey
Leanne Calland has faced immense challenges on her path to motherhood, but she is now dedicated to supporting other mums who have endured similar struggles. Her daughter Amelia is a joyful one-year-old today, yet her early life began with nine weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Leanne's story is one of profound resilience, shaped by both loss and love.
A Premature Birth and Tragic Loss
In 2019, Leanne discovered she was expecting her first baby, never anticipating the difficulties ahead. She recalled, "I went to triage in January 2020 to get checked over – I was just 24 weeks and a day at this point. Less than 12 hours later, I was back in hospital giving birth to our little girl, Olivia." Despite Leanne herself being born at 28 weeks, she and her partner knew little about premature birth.
Olivia weighed only one pound and four ounces. After stabilization in the NICU at Doncaster Royal Infirmary, she was transferred to the Jessop Wing at Sheffield Teaching Hospitals. Leanne vividly remembers the fear: "So many questions were going through my mind – will she survive being born this early? What health issues could she have? What's going to happen next?" Tragically, after three days, Olivia passed away in her parents' arms on the first day they could hold her.
A New Beginning with Amelia
Five years later, Leanne and her partner turned to IVF after struggling to conceive again. They welcomed another baby girl, Amelia, in December 2024. Like her mum and sister, Amelia was born prematurely at 27 weeks, weighing just two pounds and two ounces. Leanne said, "We were terrified that we were going to go through the same experience with Amelia as we did with Olivia. The NICU experience is one that no parents should have to go through – the alarms, constant activity, visiting your child every day instead of having them at home - it really does take a toll on your physical and mental health."
After 62 days in NICU, Amelia was able to go home with her family. However, Leanne found the emotional impact lingering: "I found it incredibly hard to look back at photos or think about Amelia's birth or the NICU without getting emotional. I felt sadness for our experience and guilt for feeling the sadness, as I thought of other parents who had a much harder journey than us. I tried to hide my feelings from my partner as I didn't want him to worry about me and resisted the urge to seek help as I didn't think I deserved it."
Seeking Support and Giving Back
When Leanne finally reached out for help, she was diagnosed with PTSD and received support from the perinatal team at Doncaster Royal Infirmary. They encouraged her to join a Facebook support group, where she was amazed to find many others in similar situations. "It was a relief to know that my feelings were normal and that my reaction to trauma was valid," she shared.
Now, with Amelia thriving at one-year-old, Leanne volunteers as a perinatal support volunteer for local NICU groups. She stated, "I strongly believe there should be greater awareness of prematurity and neonatal care during pregnancy. It would've helped me enormously to understand NICU and why babies might end up there. I hope sharing my experience encourages others to be open with their feelings and seek support, particularly dads – please don't suffer in silence."
Leanne offers advice to NICU parents: "Look after yourself, celebrate small moments, and never be afraid to ask questions. Don't compare your journey to others – every experience is unique. Being Amelia's mummy is a dream come true, and I'm so grateful to all the medical staff across DRI and STH who helped make this possible for us."
Inspiring Others in the Community
Laura Churm, divisional nurse for children and neonates at Doncaster and Bassetlaw Teaching Hospitals, commented, "Leanne's courage in sharing her story, and her commitment to supporting other families, is truly inspiring. The neonatal journey can be incredibly overwhelming and having someone who understands that experience can make a profound difference. We are so grateful for her compassion and her dedication to helping other parents feel heard, supported and less alone."
Leanne hopes her story will encourage other parents to seek support if they are struggling. If you have experienced a difficult pregnancy, birth, or neonatal journey, speak to your community midwife, health visitor, or GP, who can help connect you with specialist perinatal mental health services and local support.
